Uncategorized – Page 7

My Belly

I use the word “obsessed” a lot, especially when it comes to my five year old autistic son, Johnny. He gets really into certain toys, songs, and shows. It annoys my husband that I use the word so much. “He’s not obsessed, he just likes it”, and to his credit the interest comes and goesContinue reading “My Belly”

Thankful

Man it’s been a year. I’m exhausted. Exactly one year ago we took Johnny in for his autism evaluation. It was nerve wrecking and intimidating. The next month, five days before Christmas, my husband and I went on date night to see Star Wars. On the drive home, we got a call that Johnny hadContinue reading “Thankful”

Christmas List

Today we made a Christmas list! It’s something I always did as a child, and always imagined doing with my kids. Earlier in the day I made some with my daughter and nephew, but didn’t think Johnny would be interested. When he got home from therapy I gave it as an option to earn TVContinue reading “Christmas List”

Hello Darkness

It’s no secret being a mom is hard. I think it once was a secret, but it isn’t any longer. Too many of us blabbing about it on the internet. It’s a different kind of hard than I thought though. Mothering is a paradoxical life event. An ability I was born with. A biological andContinue reading “Hello Darkness”

Where were you?

I didn’t know you. We were always together, I fed you from my body, then my hands, I bathed you, I changed you, I’ve always loved you. But you were somewhere else. Where were you? My son Johnny is now five years old. He is autistic. And I feel like I did not really know him forContinue reading “Where were you?”

Unqualified

Unqualified. That’s how I felt when I found out my son was diagnosed with Autism at almost 5 years old. We knew it was coming, but now it was official. Things were never going to get magically easier. This was a lifetime calling. I was not prepared. I hated making appointments, filling out paperwork, awkwardContinue reading “Unqualified”

Sorrow, Sadness, Hope

Grief is usually a word associated with death. A deep pain and sorrow that stabs at the heart. A mourning. I think that’s why a lot of people take issue with parents of autistic, or other special needs children, saying they had to grieve when they found out. How can you grieve for your living child?Continue reading “Sorrow, Sadness, Hope”

Lunchbox

Today I forgot Johnny’s lunchbox and it’s been a day. Yesterday was an amazing day. We went to a nearby farm for their pumpkin patch and other fall activities. Johnny did amazing. He watched a magic show and laughed hysterically, he interacted with us, picked a pumpkin, and played with his cousins. Of course, afterContinue reading “Lunchbox”

Stop.

We stop a lot. Sometimes it tests my patience. A lot of the time we don’t have time to stop and touch everything. Johnny is sensory seeker. He has to touch and examine every wall, fence, plant, car, etc. We try to guide him. It’s not always appropriate to touch everything. We can’t always takeContinue reading “Stop.”

Why I Cry

To my little boy, You probably know by now, but your mom is a crier. I cry a lot. I cry when embarrassed, when frustrated, when sad, even when I’m happy. I have cried for you many times. I remember crying on the car ride home when you cried in the corner the whole timeContinue reading “Why I Cry”