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I stood alone on a dark bridge on a warm summer night. I listened to the creek below as it attempted to drown out the sound of my children and their cousin, playing several yards away. We were at an unfamiliar park for a small family gathering. I left my two kids with my husbandContinue reading “When You’ve Lost Yourself in Motherhood”

“When are you going to get over this?” My husband calmly asked, as I laid in our bed yet again crying.  I can’t remember what event involving our son preceded it; Another evaluation, an elopement, an awkward moment at a family gathering or school, maybe it was another long meltdown. Whichever it was, I wasContinue reading ““When Are You Going To Get Over This?””

Time to go back to school. I think I’m supposed to be excited but I still get sad sending Jesse to school on the first day. I love being with my kids. Yes, like every mom I need breaks but I love having my little buddies around. With Jesse it’s a little harder because heContinue reading “Hello First Grade”

Hot, sweaty, and out of breath in the middle of winter I sat in a full doctor’s office lobby. Due to construction, the area we were in held patients waiting for the pediatricians as well as those waiting for gynecologists. It was packed. My newly two year-old son would not hold still while we waited.Continue reading “The First Time I Heard Autism”

This morning Jesse and I were lounging at a water park. He was working up the courage to go in the water with his cousin and sister. Something I knew he’d need the moment we walked in the park. He laid back eating his chips and as soon he was done he sat up andContinue reading “Our Language”

Today I took my daughter to the park across from my son’s school thirty minutes before we picked him up so she could play. It just so happened that my son’s class was out on the playground and we could see him and his classmates. I peeked over every so often trying to be carefulContinue reading “What Wasn’t There”

Today we went to Target. We make an effort to go out on the weekends to get the kids out of the house and take the opportunity to teach both of them how to navigate the world. Sometimes it almost feels like normal, other times my husband, Isaac, and I come out exhausted for theContinue reading “Autism Perceived”

A few weeks ago Isaac and I went to San Diego for a quick weekend trip. We’ve had nights away here and there but had not been on a trip alone since having kids. As a parent it’s hard leaving your kids but it’s always nice to take a breath of air.  Even better toContinue reading “A Moment of Reflection On Parenting and Autism”

Somedays I wonder about the day she’ll realize how different their relationship is. Realize most little sisters didn’t speak for their almost 7 year old brothers, or explain things to them, at only 3 years old. Realize her friends did not usually make sure someone was holding their older sibling’s hand, when crossing the street.Continue reading “The Day She Realizes Her Brother Is Autistic”

The snow, the decorations, the family. I know you love it all with every fiber of your being.  Sometimes, as I explain to others how hard the holidays are for you, I listen to my own words and I know that it sounds like you can’t stand this time of year. But that couldn’t beContinue reading “This Holiday Season I See You, My Autistic Son”