I’ll Sit With You In The Dark

It was 3 am. White noise screamed in my ears. Besides the small glaring red light of a baby monitor I was engulfed in darkness. My body was so tired my bones ached. All this as I held onto a small tiny human praying for him to sleep. The five hours before I had beenContinue reading “I’ll Sit With You In The Dark”

Worry vs Wonder

Oh to wonder. I miss it. It’s a little over a year since my six year old son, Johnny, was diagnosed with autism and I can’t even imagine wondering about his future. From the beginning of pregnancy up until age two I wondered a lot. Who’d he be, where life would take, everything a parentContinue reading “Worry vs Wonder”

Christmas Through Johnny’s Eyes

Christmas is so much. It’s busy, it’s loud, it’s joyful, it’s frustrating, it’s a lot. I love it though. I love it for religious reasons, I love being with family, I love yummy treats, and I love presents. I get so caught up in it.   I have so many deep seeded memories when it comesContinue reading “Christmas Through Johnny’s Eyes”

Unqualified

Unqualified.  That’s how I felt when I found out my son was diagnosed with Autism at almost 5 years old. We knew it was coming, but now it was official. Things were never going to get magically easier. This was a lifetime calling. I was not prepared. I hated making appointments, filling out paperwork, awkwardContinue reading “Unqualified”