autism

Autism Is…

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve tried to explain autism—What it means.What it looks like.What it feels like to live alongside it every day. And every time, the words fall short. If I ever made a documentary about autism, I’d call it Autism Is… I’d talk to everyone—autistic individuals, parents of autistic kids and adults, siblings,Continue reading “Autism Is…”

Motherhood in the Deep End: Learning to Parent Through Autism

I’ve never known motherhood without autism. I was thrown into the deep end—but I didn’t even know it at the time. In the beginning, I had no idea that my beautiful baby boy had autism spectrum disorder. So naturally, I thought I was doing everything wrong. Nothing in the parenting books or the blogs seemedContinue reading “Motherhood in the Deep End: Learning to Parent Through Autism”

Hopes for Autism Acceptance Month This Year

Every April, Autism Acceptance Month rolls around, and with it, I find myself hoping—hoping that this year, maybe things will be different. That maybe, just maybe, people will take a moment to listen, to learn, to be kind. That maybe we can combine awareness and genuine acceptance. My Hopes for Autism Acceptance Month This YearContinue reading “Hopes for Autism Acceptance Month This Year”

When Reading Is Hard: Supporting My Autistic Child Without Forcing It

School, learning, and reading have all been struggles. Autism manifests in so many different ways, and for J, the pressure of school—being forced to sit still and engage with things he has no interest in—creates a tough combination for learning. I remember the relief when he started preschool and suddenly, there was a whole teamContinue reading “When Reading Is Hard: Supporting My Autistic Child Without Forcing It”

I Wanted to Say “This Is Hard”: A Story About Autism, Isolation, and Motherhood

There’s a small moment from years ago that has always stuck with me. Even now, it makes me feel sad and a little guilty. But I also think it perfectly captures where I was in my journey through motherhood at the time. My husband and I had taken our kids—our son, about five, and ourContinue reading “I Wanted to Say “This Is Hard”: A Story About Autism, Isolation, and Motherhood”

I Can’t Say “I Hate Autism”

I can’t say “I hate autism” anymore. I haven’t said it much, but I have. There are moments when I desperately want to be angry at autism—during a colossal public meltdown, the relentless screaming in the car, when things get broken at home, or worse, when my son can’t cope and it seems like somethingContinue reading “I Can’t Say “I Hate Autism””

Love’s Limits: Saying Goodbye to Having More Children

The plan was always to have two children, but after I had my two beautiful babies, I couldn’t help but dream of having just one more. Although we couldn’t know whether it would be a boy or a girl, in my gut and dreams, I saw a baby boy. We decided if he did comeContinue reading “Love’s Limits: Saying Goodbye to Having More Children”

Protecting Johnny’s Spirit: The Parenting Journey of an Autistic Child

When I first started my blog, I named it “Johnny’s Spirit” after my son’s nickname. While I’ve shared the story behind his nickname, I don’t believe I’ve ever explained why I chose that name for my blog. As a parent of an autistic child, one of my biggest concerns is protecting my son’s spirit. HisContinue reading “Protecting Johnny’s Spirit: The Parenting Journey of an Autistic Child”

I’m Proud of Both of Them

We just finished parent teacher conferences for my daughter.

Holy moly, the difference between my two kiddos conferences.

Today, we didn’t have to check in on IEP goals or compare therapy notes to school data. Things we want to do for our son, but it’s work and not at all simple.

I’ll Sit With You In The Dark

It was 3 am. White noise screamed in my ears. Besides the small glaring red light of a baby monitor I was engulfed in darkness. My body was so tired my bones ached. All this as I held onto a small tiny human praying for him to sleep. The five hours before I had beenContinue reading “I’ll Sit With You In The Dark”