autistic

Autism Is…

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve tried to explain autism—What it means.What it looks like.What it feels like to live alongside it every day. And every time, the words fall short. If I ever made a documentary about autism, I’d call it Autism Is… I’d talk to everyone—autistic individuals, parents of autistic kids and adults, siblings,Continue reading “Autism Is…”

Motherhood in the Deep End: Learning to Parent Through Autism

I’ve never known motherhood without autism. I was thrown into the deep end—but I didn’t even know it at the time. In the beginning, I had no idea that my beautiful baby boy had autism spectrum disorder. So naturally, I thought I was doing everything wrong. Nothing in the parenting books or the blogs seemedContinue reading “Motherhood in the Deep End: Learning to Parent Through Autism”

Hopes for Autism Acceptance Month This Year

Every April, Autism Acceptance Month rolls around, and with it, I find myself hoping—hoping that this year, maybe things will be different. That maybe, just maybe, people will take a moment to listen, to learn, to be kind. That maybe we can combine awareness and genuine acceptance. My Hopes for Autism Acceptance Month This YearContinue reading “Hopes for Autism Acceptance Month This Year”

I Can’t Say “I Hate Autism”

I can’t say “I hate autism” anymore. I haven’t said it much, but I have. There are moments when I desperately want to be angry at autism—during a colossal public meltdown, the relentless screaming in the car, when things get broken at home, or worse, when my son can’t cope and it seems like somethingContinue reading “I Can’t Say “I Hate Autism””

Protecting Johnny’s Spirit: The Parenting Journey of an Autistic Child

When I first started my blog, I named it “Johnny’s Spirit” after my son’s nickname. While I’ve shared the story behind his nickname, I don’t believe I’ve ever explained why I chose that name for my blog. As a parent of an autistic child, one of my biggest concerns is protecting my son’s spirit. HisContinue reading “Protecting Johnny’s Spirit: The Parenting Journey of an Autistic Child”

You and Me, Kid

To my Johnny, I can see it now; The chaos, the fear, the love, the moment you entered the world. It was 10:31pm and the room was full. Nurses and staff running about, Dad, Grammy and your Aunt Shauna cheering with joy, machines beeping and a baby crying. In a strangely unceremonious way you wereContinue reading “You and Me, Kid”

Worry vs Wonder

Oh to wonder. I miss it. It’s a little over a year since my six year old son, Johnny, was diagnosed with autism and I can’t even imagine wondering about his future. From the beginning of pregnancy up until age two I wondered a lot. Who’d he be, where life would take, everything a parentContinue reading “Worry vs Wonder”

The Fix by Six?

Last night per usual Johnny had a hard time falling asleep. Calming his body into rest is not an easy task for him. Usually I try to deny his sweet requests for a million hugs and try to remind him it’s not the time to run, giggle, or sing. But on this cold January night,Continue reading “The Fix by Six?”

Christmas Through Johnny’s Eyes

Christmas is so much. It’s busy, it’s loud, it’s joyful, it’s frustrating, it’s a lot. I love it though. I love it for religious reasons, I love being with family, I love yummy treats, and I love presents. I get so caught up in it. I have so many deep seeded memories when it comesContinue reading “Christmas Through Johnny’s Eyes”

Where were you?

I didn’t know you. We were always together, I fed you from my body, then my hands, I bathed you, I changed you, I’ve always loved you. But you were somewhere else. Where were you? My son Johnny is now five years old. He is autistic. And I feel like I did not really know him forContinue reading “Where were you?”