School, learning, and reading have all been struggles. Autism manifests in so many different ways, and for J, the pressure of school—being forced to sit still and engage with things he has no interest in—creates a tough combination for learning.
I remember the relief when he started preschool and suddenly, there was a whole team of people helping him learn. At home, it always led to frustration for both of us.
To this day, homework, projects, and reading remain challenging. J likes to do things on his own terms, in his own way and if he doesnt like its a battle.
About a year ago, I completely gave up trying to make him read. I know that might sound bad, but I worried that whatever interest he did have in books would disappear completely. I didn’t want reading to become something he dreaded.
I love books now, but it wasn’t always that way. I’m dyslexic, and I remember the fear of reading in class, the embarrassment when it didn’t come easily. Books weren’t something I could love—they were tied to anxiety and struggle.
It took time, but I eventually fell in love with story and that helped me become a reader. When I could read at my own pace, without pressure I found out made them so wonderful. That love of books, along with some amazing teachers, helped me learn to read better—my way.
J has always shown an interest in books, and I wanted to nurture that. So, instead of pushing him to read, we changed our approach. My husband and I would read aloud, sometimes asking J to read a word here and there. Sometimes he resisted, but sometimes he didn’t. We let him choose books that interested him and celebrated them—just enough, but not too much (because that would ruin it, lol).
So, for the past year, we’ve focused on nurturing his love of books—just letting them exist in his world on his terms. No pressure. Just presence.
I hope this grows. I hope his reading skills develop in their own time so he can find the same solace in books that I have. And maybe, just maybe, it will one day translate into more writing, more expression—giving voice to the words that sometimes feel hard for him to get out.
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