Today was my birthday.
Each year, I look back and find a theme for that year. It’s not always easy, and this year was tough.
34 brought its share of difficulties, but it was also a year full of wonderful surprises.
Things happened that I never expected. Our family went hiking together, my autistic son helped his dad shop for groceries nearly every week, my daughter grew closer to her brother, and hell we traveled to the UK and back.
Autism coming into our lives made me feel stuck, and now a blood disease adds to that. But looking back on this year, I’ve learned a lot about being okay with where I am at and accepting that loss of control.
Growing up, I felt pressure to know exactly who I am. Not the worst way to be raised, but I thought knowing myself would give me control over life. Questioning who I am or what I want in life has made me feel like a failure in the past.
I know myself in many ways, but I can tell ya, at 35, I’m not fully there and kinda hope I never am. There’s a beauty to malleable.
Life and autism have taught me to be flexible and always learn. Many times, I’ve felt lost and didn’t know what to do. We’ve had to try new things over the years.
This flexibility and ability to question has affected all parts of my life. I’m more open-minded and willing to listen. I don’t judge people based on one moment, their mistakes, or even their social media.
So, this year, I’ve embraced being adaptable and okay with uncertainty. Tomorrow could be tough or great, but I hope to stay open-minded, ask questions, and keep learning from others.
So years to 35. Let’s pray it’s an easy one.
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